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10/29/14

Field Assistant, Wanted

Compensation: $12/hour--in San Diego, this wage is a joke.

5 days a week (M-F)

This field position is an assistant to an appraiser (a greedy square) and will require extensive driving (get ready to get fat.) As a field assistant, you will perform various duties including responsibility for tracking and taking pictures of homes (you will never be able to afford.) These duties will be performed both inside and outside of the office (no escaping office politics.) Strong organizational and communication skills required (have your shit together and be able to speak in full sentences.) A successful candidate must have good PC skills (because we're boring and don't use Macs) (basic knowledge of MS Excel and digital cameras (as in, know what these things are)). Must be willing to work overtime (forget your pipe dream to paint on your free time) when it's busy (always.) Professional appearance required (look like the boss when he goes to Macy's and sneaks shy looks at other women.)